adrienne marie .

singer and songwrite, i cannot see myself doing anything else with my life. i just love it with all of my heart, hope you guys enjoy it [:
muffintop-less:

Clean Eating Nutella Recipe
Ingredients1-1/2 cups hazelnuts6 oz. baker’s chocolate (6 squares)3/4 cup honey4 tbsp. safflower oil1/2 cup almond milk (or milk of choice)1 tsp. vanilla extract (I used Bourbon Vanilla from Trader Joe’s)
DirectionsStep 1 – Place the hazelnuts on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees F. for about 15 minutes. The flesh should be a nice golden brown and the skins should be closer to black in color.Step 2 – Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.Step 3 – Put the hazelnuts on a dish towel and rub until the skins come off. You may need to help some of them along with your hands, but most of the skins should come off with the towel.Step 4 – Put the hazelnuts in a food processor and blend until you have a nut butter consistency. It may not be perfectly smooth, but you’ll know it when you see it. It takes a few minutes in the processor, so just keep blending.Step 5 – While the hazelnuts are in the processor, put the chocolate squares in a bowl and microwave for about 3 minutes. Stir, and then continue to microwave in 30 second intervals, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted.Step 6 – Stop the processor and add the chocolate, then the honey and oil. Mix as much as you can. The mixture will be very thick, so it may put a little bit of strain on your mixer. At that point, start adding your milk slowly, a little at a time.Step 7 – Lastly, add the vanilla extract and blend for a few moments more just to combine everything really well.Step 8 – Transfer the nutella to a jar and store in the fridge. It will get thick like peanut butter does when it’s cold.
by The Gracious Pantry

muffintop-less:

Clean Eating Nutella Recipe

Ingredients
1-1/2 cups hazelnuts
6 oz. baker’s chocolate (6 squares)
3/4 cup honey
4 tbsp. safflower oil
1/2 cup almond milk (or milk of choice)
1 tsp. vanilla extract (I used Bourbon Vanilla from Trader Joe’s)

Directions
Step 1 – Place the hazelnuts on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees F. for about 15 minutes. The flesh should be a nice golden brown and the skins should be closer to black in color.
Step 2 – Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.
Step 3 – Put the hazelnuts on a dish towel and rub until the skins come off. You may need to help some of them along with your hands, but most of the skins should come off with the towel.
Step 4 – Put the hazelnuts in a food processor and blend until you have a nut butter consistency. It may not be perfectly smooth, but you’ll know it when you see it. It takes a few minutes in the processor, so just keep blending.
Step 5 – While the hazelnuts are in the processor, put the chocolate squares in a bowl and microwave for about 3 minutes. Stir, and then continue to microwave in 30 second intervals, stirring after each one, until the chocolate is melted.
Step 6 – Stop the processor and add the chocolate, then the honey and oil. Mix as much as you can. The mixture will be very thick, so it may put a little bit of strain on your mixer. At that point, start adding your milk slowly, a little at a time.
Step 7 – Lastly, add the vanilla extract and blend for a few moments more just to combine everything really well.
Step 8 – Transfer the nutella to a jar and store in the fridge. It will get thick like peanut butter does when it’s cold.

by The Gracious Pantry

muffintop-less:

My Cupcake Batter Protein Shake
1 Scoop Vanilla protein powder1/2 Cup nonfat/lowfat cottage cheese1 T Instant, sugar-free pudding mix (any flavor, I used Cheesecake)1/2 Cup Sugar-Free Vanilla Coconut milk 3-5 Ice cubes
Blend and Enjoy! =) 

muffintop-less:

My Cupcake Batter Protein Shake

1 Scoop Vanilla protein powder
1/2 Cup nonfat/lowfat cottage cheese
1 T Instant, sugar-free pudding mix (any flavor, I used Cheesecake)
1/2 Cup Sugar-Free Vanilla Coconut milk 
3-5 Ice cubes

Blend and Enjoy! =) 

shit just got real.

there are some things i need to take care of . its hard not to just stay on track and to keep the faith when the same things keep spiraling around. oh how frustrating it really is. i hate all of this . i want things to go according to plan but i know that won’t happen. it will happen when i least expect it. but i need to change my focus. i don’t even know what i’m trying to say at this point but things need to be different. i keep saying that but its time to put it into action for real this time. 

i hate this part.

its supposed to get better but honestly i have frozen up. i have a worry tied to any job i get. i just want to be myself. i want to exceed limits and boundaries. i want to go the extra mile. its hard to stay happy or not mix in my personal life with my professional life but i must separate the two. i don’t want to be jobless another moment but i need to get over this. i can do it. i’ll feel better once i get started next week. i’ll feel a little relieved to say the least. i guess i’ve always had a worry in every other job like that i wasn’t doing something right and it made me so scared. i’ve always been hovered over like a little child being controlled by someone more dominant than themselves. i still carry that with me and my guard is up. i want to see a psychologist of some sort, i need to deal with these issues at hand. i know i just can’t do this alone. i must find a way somehow. i want to be positive and talk and sort these things out. i know its not myself but honestly i am scared about a lot of things. i have a guard up and its hard to let that integrated wall put down. i am spiraling in with absolutely nowhere else to go. it doesn’t necessarily affects my personal relationships(although it can at times) but in all other aspects i cannot begin to be myself. i don’t know why but i want it to stop. i’m just afraid of saying something wrong. i need to let loose and open up more but how can i ? there needs to be another way and i need to be that solution. but seeking professional help wouldn’t be so bad. i need the support and guidance. i have to do this for myself once and for all. 

letter to god.

dearest lord, 

if i can ask one thing 

i would ask you 

to grab the knots that are built up 

in my back 

to throw them down 

and crush them to the ground

i dont want to face them 

i dont want the stress 

i dont want much of it 

it makes me feel like a mess

so i bow my head and tell you

the plan thats going on 

theres so much i have yet to mention 

its been far too long 

lord, i’m truly sorry

it came down to this 

my love, my hope, my everylasting wish 

i’ve got it planned out 

and i’ll pray that you work it out 

i’m hoping i wasn’t taken for granted 

it makes me wanna shout 

my god, the one true god,

i’ll give you anything 

to help to work it out 

i need to keep my promises 

and in end, i’ll pull through

my love, my hope, my everlasting wish 

i don’t want to hurt, i don’t need it now 

i don’t want to sink to the bottom 

and have to start over 

there so much that i am sick of 

that would be the one 

i need to get that phone call 

it makes me anxious just waiting 

i feel the tension inside it hurts 

down to the core 

and one wish i’d ask 

is all i want is more 

the pain i can’t endure

it makes me feel so unsure

its now or never 

and this has to work on out 

i don’t know where i’d end up 

if i had to go for more 

my love, my hope, my everlasting wish .. 

amen 

dream dream dream .

you know what i have come to realize? i can’t live to sell myself so damn short. its so easy to tell myself what has happened already and how my dreams or ambitions haven’t been achieved yet. how what others have told me already say is actually true. of course it isn’t. i just didn’t give myself enough credit or space to make things happen. what was i actually doing to try? when you are knocked down, get back up once more. that’s what i’ve learned. i’ve been backed down but i will stand up even taller than the moment previous. i will excede all expectations. i will do it better than its been done before. i will change the world every single day. its true because i say it is. try to stop me, because i will prove you wrong. 

let go of stress, fear, anxiety, negative thoughts, the “past”,worry, failure.. no more roadblocks. FEAR = false evidence appearing real. so therefore, there is no fear. that is a thing of the past. no more room for that bullshit. i am on to great and wonderful things. i will show self confidence like no other. i will not feel intimidated. i will take compliments and not question them. i know it takes practice, but i will practice how i will perform. even if your not “ready” you always act like you are so when the moment arises, you are ready. 

i lie in on the passion of it all. who is this for? its for a better me. its for all the people in the process that are going to have a better life because of the change i’m making. i want to inspire others, but if i’m not inspiring myself or finding the change myself, how is that possibly going to occur? 

be specific.

love yourself ALWAYS.

award yourself with each step forward. ———> healthy activities 

announce your dreams. ———-> to be a singer/songwriter/pianist

                                            part-time cosmetologist 

                                            learn to be a interior designer of a sort 

                                            be a leader

                                            pilates instructor 

yeah yeah yeah.

you were left there and i just stayed here 

how could you just leave oh so suddenly?

but still my heart aches here 

because i know you aren’t coming back 

you saw your daughter for that split second 

i wish i got that message 

and rewind the tape again 

but there’s no going back 

all i have, is right here, here and now 

but where’d you go? 

i miss your face 

and i am tangled up 

in the most emptiest place 

i’m so wrapped up 

and i’m not breathing 

how could you go ?

right here ? right now? 

oooh 

how could you leave this all to me?

we talked about living to the very end 

but now its all up to me and you aren’t here to stay 

and i’m so aloneeee. 

ooooh 

oooh

oooh. 

what just happened ?

                         

i’m feeling the sting right about now. i’m feeling the emotional toll of it all right about now. i feel like i wanna roll up and die right about now. i feel like i gave it all and it still wasn’t my best right about now. right about now i realize how much i need to push for this. this is not the end of me. this is only the beginning. this is the beginning of something new and wonderful. it couldn’t have been that easy for anyone really. but i want it more than anything. this is the end of me. this makes me push for it even more. i feel so sick right now but i’m taking this weekend off to pick myself up again. it breaks me down to bring me up again. it was a good experience that i needed to endure. it was worth it. i feel like shit right now but this is the beginning to something great. and great i will be. i will work harder than anyone, i will show people what i truly feel through my music. i want to change the world through my music and that i shall. i won’t stop until i make it, and when i get there, i’m going to blow people’s minds. 

        

i remember the words i was hearing, “you didn’t make it”.. she said ” the rest of you didn’t make it but you guys are all great singers, i’m glad you took the time to come down here, i really appreciate it, but i don’t think you guys are ready for this”. all i can hear is ” you didn’t make it” and my heart just sank. all the emotions rolling around, it could not sink in. all the work i put in this, for not even a callback? i was beginning to have some hope and then she just throws it off with that fucking bomb. how can this be? does she realize the time and effort i put into this? does anyone really realize all i sacrificed this whole fucking month? this just isn’t fair. not one bit. i just want to sing and show the world what i’m made of. i know that i can. i know i am bound for great things. there’s so much i wanna do. my stomach hurts and even after eating something, it didn’t help. all i could do is just lay there and cry. i feel so numb to everything around me. i don’t want to go out. i should be excited that my boyfriend got me a car for my birthday/3 month anniversary present but i’m too stuck on this; what had just happened? i want to fucking ball up and die right now. i remember walking out of that place with the opposite attitude i had coming in; with lost hope and shame. at least i can say that i did it but i am truly hurt right now. i want to be able to do so much and i will but that stings. why did this happen? oh my god . why? why? why? ! i am falling apart. i need to live again and this is something i need to pick myself up from. i have to say that i met some amazing and talented people though and i am so glad to have been a part of that. i love those moments if anything. i won’t apologize to anyone for trying my best; it is their loss, truly. i am going to put myself out there and someone will say yes, maybe not everyone, but someone will. i will get myself out there and i will succeed. i will sing at karaoke clubs, at coffee shops, open mic nights , in hollywood.. i have opportunities here. i can do studio work. get my vocal training.. its up to me to live the dream and create the open opportunities for myself, and i am bound to do that. i will never give up. i know what is inside of me and i’m letting that woman shine. the woman i was always made to be. this is me. take it or leave it. 

         

one life about to change.

                          

this time is for real. it’s really here. wow, oh my god, yes, it’s here. it’s tomorrow. i have the rest of this day to prepare. its seriously here to go out and live the life i’ve always wanted. to sing. to show this world what i’m truly made of . i want people to know who i am. this can make or break me. but i will let it make me and if it doesn’t go as planned, i am content with that because i won’t break for long. i know it would crush me inside, but i would pull out of it. it’s okay; i know i love to sing and one day people will know who i am. i know i inspire many people already and there will be more to come for sure. i know what is in me and is ready to come out. not just for the fame and glamour, those things are nice for recognition but that is not what i’m all about. i’m here to live my dreams because i am passionate about this, i always have and always will. never stop the music. the music is what keeps me alive. #thevoiceauditions #dreamalotlouder #livingthedream

                 

nothing less, always more .

i am in the most inspiring, most creative and loving state of mind. i am so impressed by how everything is going. maybe life isn’t perfect, but it isn’t meant to be. if it was i wouldn’t be able to sit back right now and do the things i’m doing. i wouldn’t appreciate anything if i didn’t have to work for it. all i want is love and music. its wat i stand here believing in. its wat i need most in life. without ian or music i don’t know what i would do. sometimes i feel out of balance but thats okay. i pick myself back up again. ian and the music totally save me from being down again. i would not be alive without it. i wouldn’t have survived without it. love and music. nothing less but i’m always searching for more. i dream bigger than big. and i  always love more in all things. i thank god every single day this life i’m leading and this life he has given me because without him i don’t know what i would do. how would i get through anything without his peace and comfort? i believe he put forth this plan infront of me and he let ian in to save me from all the brokenness i felt in my life. all the things that were doing me so wrong, he was giving me something right,  something worth working towards. i ended up in the most influential place for music. music is born here and i am so glad to be a part of it. i just know i can do anything i set my mind to and ian helps me get there. he is my love, my support, my everything. i’m doing this for myself but i’m also doing the music for him because i love him and i want him to be proud of my achievements. this is wat i want out of life. i don’t want anything else as a career. it’s all about the music and i’m heading down the road of happinesss [: